2 min read

Letter to My Sister

Age: 29 years, 7 months, 21 days

Zoë,
  I speak with people about the art I love whenever I get the chance. I never feel more like myself than when I do this. This is always rewarding as I’m speaking, but later I usually wish I didn’t say anything.
  In the past I’ve tried to hide who I am. If I say something I believe people will like and it doesn’t go well, I can say I picked the wrong thing to say. If I say something authentic and I don’t get a positive response, I believe it says something about who I am.

∞

  Last week, we listened to a series of songs together as I talked about why I loved them. Of the songs we listened to, Sweet Nothing by Taylor Swift is the most important to me.
  I told you my favorite lyrics in the song are at the close of the bridge: “And the voices that implore/’You should be doing more’/To you I can admit/that I’m just too soft for all of it”.
  In these lines, I hear Taylor saying she has a person she’s more comfortable being open with than anyone else. I believe anyone who has someone like this knows how valuable they are.
  I also hear something that doesn’t show up in the text of the lyrics. The act of placing the words, “I’m just too soft for all of it,” in a song she shares with the world is important. Even if she’s only comfortable with one person, she’s telling anyone that listens.
  Listening to this song has helped me be more open about who I am and the things I love. Hearing another human being make a statement about being completely open despite being uncomfortable helps me find the courage to do the same.

∞

  A few days after we listened to the song, you thanked me for introducing it to you. I had an unexpected response to this. Normally, when someone shows appreciation for an honest opinion I give, my reaction is completely positive. This time, the positivity was paired with a sadness.
  What makes your response different than most people is my relationship with you. You are the type of person I can admit anything to. With you, I won’t regret being myself later whether or not you openly appreciate what I have to say.
  When we were listening to the song together, I had an opportunity to tell you this. I felt a sadness when you thanked me for sharing the song with you because I passed on this opportunity. I’m writing you this letter now to let you know I’m grateful for the comfort I feel whenever I’m being myself around you.

austin